This post is inspired by something I read today, about integrating one’s new mom self with one’s whole self. It’s haunted me all day. I know what she means about the struggle to integrate the two, transitioning from an individual to a new mom role, which requires 24/7 responsibility, love, patience, and attention. I’m there. I’ve tried to navigate my way through it. But I gave up. Here’s why.
There’s a lot of noise around becoming a mom, a whole lot of noise. We all know people have opinions from the very second a pregnancy announcement is made. We have no control over that. What we can try to have control over is not letting other people become our own self talk. So here’s the bottom line I try to uphold every day…
I’m gonna be me.
That means I’m not gonna be anyone else, including a mommy version of me. I’m gonna be me. I’m not gonna be the scary mommy blog post lady or the evidence-based baby guru. I’m gonna do my best to be the same me I’ve always been, the one that has gotten me where I am in my life, the one my friends like, the one my husband fell in love with, the one who has common sense and intuition, the one who wants to enjoy this season of my life instead of questioning every move I make. The hardest thing to be after having a baby is yourself. At least that’s my experience.
It feels a bit like swimming upstream, but I’m pretty sure I’ll like myself more when I see myself through my child’s eyes if I can hang on to me! I also think I will cry less on the way! After all, the core of who I am hasn’t changed, even though everyone preached to me how everything changes the moment that baby is placed on your chest. Yes and no. Yes and no, people.
It’s ok to not know where we are, to lose our way, to forget who we are after an unbelievable number of nights with very little sleep, too many days in yoga pants where we don’t leave the house, and all our clothes covered in various versions of bodily fluids that are not our own. It’s totally normal. But when we resurface, we don’t have to be anything other than the us we are totally comfortable being, even if it means other people aren’t entirely comfortable with it.
Joyful Striving 