Quinn’s birthday will be Monday, August 1st. It’s so weird to know that! This is such a very different experience for us. Cash’s birth was the stuff movies are made of! Quinn wants to show up to meet us in a totally different way! He’s still breech and is showing signs of growth restriction so he’s gotta come out via c section and sooner rather than later. So…August 1st it is.
People have their own ideas of what part of this might be the hardest for me. The surgery, the loss of a natural birth, leaving Cash. It’s interesting how many people want to guess at what might seem hard to me. Honestly, though, the hardest part for me is the thought of not being the kind of mom I want to be to our two boys from the beginning. It’s not being able to carry Cash, or sleep beside them, or do simple things without assistance. Some people have said it won’t be as bad as I think. I’m not sure about that yet. I’d love to believe that, but going from a birth with virtually no recovery to major surgery is a drastic difference.
My rational self knows this is what Quinn needs me to do, it’s temporary, and in the scheme of things is a very short time. That’s what will help take this one step at a time, especially on days when it feels like I haven’t left the house in days…because I haven’t.
Here is Quinn’s horoscope. Maybe this explains some things: http://www.famousbirthdays.com/horoscope/august1.html
Another positive note is that I no longer have to drag Cash to anymore appointments!! And Colin can start his time away from work. Those are my silver linings.
I’m also reminded of how awesome our village is. I don’t know what we’d do without them!
Joyful Striving 