Holidays are always such a mix of emotions, a time when joy and stress compete for attention in my family. It’s always a little fun, a little crazy, a little relaxing, and a little out of control. This year was no different. For me, though, it was all of it’s typical ups and downs, but with an additional dose of sadness. My friend, Eric, was not with us to enjoy this holiday this year. Although, we are still unsure what happened, what is certain is that Eric suffered with some extreme issues after serving in the Marines and then the Navy. He is sadly another casualty of a war that continues to claim lives overseas and once soldiers have returned to the states.
I haven’t seen his mom yet, and I know that when I do my heart will no longer be held together, but will shatter into a million pieces. I can’t imagine the weight of his loss on his family. There are no comforting words, nor words of understanding that could possibly help at a time of such loss. I will offer her as much love as I can and be a safe person to whom she can say anything. I also offer a book. It is a book that I have given too many times, but one that I am so grateful for when the time comes. It is called “The Next Place” and it is the closest thing to comfort I know how to offer at times of such horrific grief. Last year, I gave it to a 6 year old whose parents died just days before Christmas, at the hands of her father’s gun. This year, I give it to Karen and Joe, whose only son died senselessly just days before a holiday of thanks.
In it, I have written:
“I hope this book might offer you both just a small bit of comfort, something I know words alone cannot. The “next place for Eric is filled with the freshest white powder snow and all the perfect waves. I imagine him laughing even more joyfully than he ever laughed here with us, enjoying all his favorite things. We will always love him and will always feel his absence but we will never forget the ways he reminded us to not take ourselves too seriously and laugh through even the toughest times.
With love and a heavy heart,
Adria”
Joyful Striving 