It’s 9:30pm. Every day, this time of night is such a hard one for me. I’ve been up since 6am, after a million wake ups throughout the night. First Quinn, then Cash, then Quinn, then time to take Cash to school. Bedtime is 8pm. Or at least that’s the bedtime we are working towards. Some nights are better than others. They are thrown off by the littlest things…teething, sirens, Tyson, dinner, milk, the front door. Tonight was an ok attempt at bedtime. Mostly, I felt like checking out and Cash was extremely tired. Colin is also exhausted and is on call tonight so went to bed earlier than usual. So here I am, finally, the only one awake.
I’d love to find a way for this to be me time. Or at the very least, work time. But I’m tired. So tired. I have enough energy for a few bites of ice cream and half a glass of wine.
I’m not the kind of tired that is ready for bed, that would be too easy. I’m the kind of tired where I just want to check out and not have to deal with email or tasks or bills.
So I have a few hours to spend however I choose. I could be responsible or I could be lazy (in a good way). It’s times like this I wish I liked watching tv or had a good book that didn’t need to be read on a screen.
Joyful Striving 